Decisions, decisions

I am in quite the pickle.

Bravura called me today and said that my interview at Kwintet yesterday had gone well and that I had progressed to the next step. Great. But I'm in a hurry to get Kwinteta decisions as to which two will be employed, since Microsoft will let me know sometime at the end of next week. And if I say no to Microsoft I might end up without a job at all if Kwintet does not offer me the position. I'm so scared. A part of me actually wishes that Microsoft doesn't want me so that I won't have to choose.

I am so confused. I am very doubtful about the job at Microsoft. I swore to myself that I would never again work in sales since it makes me feel like shit. Yet here I am. Moste because Mathias pushed me, otherwise I would never even have gone to the first interview. I hate sales. But this is sales at another level where the customers actually want you to call, where you get to help to improve the business. It's not at all like selling socks to old ladies over the phone. But will I feel the same? As bad?

Kwintet is a very big company but this office only ha ten employees. Everyone is nice, I know I'll like the environment.
But seriously, first line support? That sooo not a glamorous job. Especially for someone who has just finished a degree in computer science. But this is the same reason why I am doubting the position at Microsoft. The most important thing for me is that I feel good and happy about going to work, every day, and that I make enough money to live a comfortable life with my horse. And I don't know if Microsoft can provide that first part, but surely the second. Alongside a career. And status. But that won't be worth anything at all is I'm feeling like shit and get ill again.

But Kwintet, I can't see a career path at all there. And I don't want to work in support for five years. I don't think at least.

And if I'm being 100 percent honest, most of this anxiety comes from fear of what other people might think about my job, my career, my success. And that should be the least of my worries.

I really don't know what to do. Follow my stomach probably, it has always led me right.

Fuck.

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