Due to my sick leave, this was a fail, I only managed a 5 kilometer race.
This year, I will do something different for my resolution. It will not be an achivement, but a promise to my soul who's had enough suffering:
Waking up at 5, which is an ungodly hour even for me.
But; two persons on a mission such as ours, have no time to complain about early mornings!
Most of the day were spent travelling, we had a direct flight from Stockholm to Tromsö, and arrived at the hotel around 15.
At this time, it was already pitch black. We had been joking before hand that we would only have daylight between 10 and 14, but we had no idea how wrong we were. The term daylight wouldn't be spoken at all during our trip.
We ate at Egon, a really cozy and homely place that we really liked. I ate the fish soup, as I always do when it's on the menu.
Then we took a shorter walk exploring the city, which was very small but nice. We spent 1,5 hours in the tourist office which seemed to have 100% of the town's tourists crammed into it. At least we came out with a trip booked for the next night - a night tour to hunt for the northern lights.
Then we had to take a nap as we are not 18 anymore, before we ended the day with a walk to end of Tromsö, which we severely underestimated the distance of, and ended up walking for 2,5 hours.
I have found a very nice looking riding trip I think I'd like to take during this fall. Week 44 the kids will have the fall break from school and many if my colleagues will be on vacation, so I'm thinking this would be a good time to go.
I have found a weekend in Sweden that sounded perfect, nature, horses and massage, and the price was very much ok. I initially wanted to go to Wales or Ireland, but these trips were just ridiculous in price as I also had to fly to get there.
Will check more into this.
Kroppsverkstan texted me earlier this week that my yoga card would expire this weekend, and I still had 6 unused classes on it. However, if I were to buy 10 new they would let me keep them. This was great timing as I've been thinking about starting yoga again now that I am feeling better.
And, now Dave might join me in order to get more flexible before the Viking competition. Yey!
So, today after work, we'll go to kroppsverkstan and buy some yoga classes and then we're all set!
On the 12th of October I'll be talking to relatives of patients currently attending Mando.
I will be talking about my time at the clinic, and how I found my way back to health.
I am so happy for the patients who have these people who care for them and support them. I want to give them hope that there is a very real way to getting healthy, and that their support means the world, even though they may not experience that right now.
I am so grateful that I was asked to attend this meeting, and honoured.
I will do my best to give hope.
På tunnelbanan. Damen med slående vitt hår, runt ansikte och sådär lite tant-tjock som en typisk 50plusare. Något med hennes fluffiga page gjorde att mina tankar efter 0,5 sekunder hamnade på Ulla. Och ett stick i magen av nostalgi och saknad.
Jag tänker på Ulla till och från. Kanske beror det idag på att jag har pms, kanske något annat.
Jag minns alla de otaliga timmar jag spenderade med Ulla, Sy-Ulla. När mamma var i stallet. Hur hon nästan var mer min mormor än min riktiga mormor.
Jag minns hur hon gav mig knappar från de många knapprören hon hade på väggen ovanför symaskinerna. Jag vet inte vad som hände med den stora mängd knappar kah måste ha ackumulerat, men jag kan tänka mig att mamma gav tillbaka dem till Ulla, i smyg. I vilket fall märkte jag aldrig hit knapparna försvann. Kanske var jag mer intresserad av glädjen jag kände när jag fick välja dem.
Jag minns den höga stolen vid tygbordet som jag redan då var lång nog att kunna klättra upp på.
Jag minns när jag som gymnasieelev, utförande mitt projektarbete att sy en klädkollektion, återvände till Ulla för hjälp. Hur vi på luncherna satte oss ned tillsammans med en av hennes vänner och spådde i tarotkort. Hur Ulla på något sätt visste saker.
Jag minns när mamma berättade hur Ulla kommit ut till huset i Malsta. Hur hon sett det jag alltid vetat fanns i huset.
Jag minns att Ulla skickade kort på min födelsedag varje år, oavsett hur länge sedan vi setts.
Jag minns när mamma ringde och berättade att Ulla dött.
Jag önskar jag insett tidigare hur mycket Ulla betytt.
I don't know how to write this, as I cannot describe what I feel. It's a mishmash of pride, relieve, happiness, euphoria, disbelief....
I have just passed my five year check up at Mando. I am declared healthy and permitted from the clinic. 9 years I've worked for this, every waking moment of every day.
11th of September 2007 I first came through the door of Mando. I had finally hit bottom and realized I needed help, sent in an application and was called straight in to an evaluation.
I was so afraid that they would say "why are you wanting our time, you're not sick, move over so someone who needs help can get help". 1 week later I was admitted to the clinic full time. Apparently I was sick enough to go the emergence route into treatment, passed several thousands of persons who wanted and needed a spot, who had waited years for it. Apparently, I was very, very sick.
Now it's almost 9 years to the day. I am walking out the doors of the place that saved my life.
How on earth can I ever tell them, and myself, thank you?