Trying to help, to give hope

On the 12th of October I'll be talking to relatives of patients currently attending Mando.

I will be talking about my time at the clinic, and how I found my way back to health.

I am so happy for the patients who have these people who care for them and support them. I want to give them hope that there is a very real way to getting healthy, and that their support means the world, even though they may not experience that right now.

I am so grateful that I was asked to attend this meeting, and honoured.

I will do my best to give hope.

Sy-Ulla

På tunnelbanan. Damen med slående vitt hår, runt ansikte och sådär lite tant-tjock som en typisk 50plusare. Något med hennes fluffiga page gjorde att mina tankar efter 0,5 sekunder hamnade på Ulla. Och ett stick i magen av nostalgi och saknad.

Jag tänker på Ulla till och från. Kanske beror det idag på att jag har pms, kanske något annat.

Jag minns alla de otaliga timmar jag spenderade med Ulla, Sy-Ulla. När mamma var i stallet. Hur hon nästan var mer min mormor än min riktiga mormor.

Jag minns hur hon gav mig knappar från de många knapprören hon hade på väggen ovanför symaskinerna. Jag vet inte vad som hände med den stora mängd knappar kah måste ha ackumulerat, men jag kan tänka mig att mamma gav tillbaka dem till Ulla, i smyg. I vilket fall märkte jag aldrig hit knapparna försvann. Kanske var jag mer intresserad av glädjen jag kände när jag fick välja dem.

Jag minns den höga stolen vid tygbordet som jag redan då var lång nog att kunna klättra upp på.

Jag minns när jag som gymnasieelev, utförande mitt projektarbete att sy en klädkollektion, återvände till Ulla för hjälp. Hur vi på luncherna satte oss ned tillsammans med en av hennes vänner och spådde i tarotkort. Hur Ulla på något sätt visste saker.

Jag minns när mamma berättade hur Ulla kommit ut till huset i Malsta. Hur hon sett det jag alltid vetat fanns i huset.

Jag minns att Ulla skickade kort på min födelsedag varje år, oavsett hur länge sedan vi setts.

Jag minns när mamma ringde och berättade att Ulla dött.

Jag önskar jag insett tidigare hur mycket Ulla betytt.

Birthday breakfast @ the office

It's a strange coincidence when 4 colleagues out of a total of 8 have their birthdays in September. 
This has to be celebrated of course! Breakfast and cake = very good Friday!



And as tradition bids, Tomas present was a candy package. I loooove them!



Turning 29

This year, I was fortunate to have an absolutely perfect birthday, I couldn't have asked for more. 

In the morning, I got my favorite cake, prinsesstårta, for breakfast in bed, together with gift opening. And I just happened to get 2 PERFECT gifts from Dave; A Daniel Wellington watch  and a 3D build-it-yourself crocodile!



Of course the watch followed me all day.


The first stop of the day was a huge defining point in my life; my last ever visit to Mando. The 60-month visit, marking 60 months since I went into remission, and the last follow-up visit to the clinic. And I passed with flying colors, received hugs and flowers, and experienced a weird euphoria and pride I've rarely felt. 


After work, the day ended with a visit the the resturant Thai Boat for dinner. 


I couldnt have been happier with my day, this is what a real birthday should be. 

Mando

I don't know how to write this, as I cannot describe what I feel. It's a mishmash of pride, relieve, happiness, euphoria, disbelief....

I have just passed my five year check up at Mando. I am declared healthy and permitted from the clinic. 9 years I've worked for this, every waking moment of every day.

11th of September 2007 I first came through the door of Mando. I had finally hit bottom and realized I needed help, sent in an application and was called straight in to an evaluation.
I was so afraid that they would say "why are you wanting our time, you're not sick, move over so someone who needs help can get help". 1 week later I was admitted to the clinic full time. Apparently I was sick enough to go the emergence route into treatment, passed several thousands of persons who wanted and needed a spot, who had waited years for it. Apparently, I was very, very sick.

Now it's almost 9 years to the day. I am walking out the doors of the place that saved my life.

How on earth can I ever tell them, and myself, thank you?

Budapest day 3

Sunday, and time do dive 50 meters below the streets of Budapest as we went caving! An amazing adventure where we had to 100% crawl, squeeze, slide and climb our way though a huge cave system.





It was time for Marre and Rhys to head back home after our caving day, so me and Dave headed to what was easily the scariest thing for many years for me - The old prison cell labyrint of Buda castle with NO light on but a hand-held oil lantern...



We also saw the church before taking the bus home, ending 3 adventurous days in a city we'd both love to go back to, soon!



Budapest day 2

Sightseeings and adventures!

The day started with breakfast at a small eco café which had the most horrible crackers I've ever tasted. Then we took a trip around the river, stopping at an ice cream bar which was from heaven, before we made our way across a bridge from Pest to Buda.


 




On the other side awaited the first surprise for the guys; Gellert spa! A thermal spa with several thermal pools and one adventure pool with a wave machine - yey!




After our bath we headed to the second surprise; a room escape! Especially special as Budapest is where these games originates from. Too bad that this room ("Surgery") was the first room ever where I didnt make it out in time. We got stuck on the last puzzle with 10 minutes to go... haha.



We ended the night with dinner and fika at a chocolate bar, Noir. Yum!


Budapest day 1

As usual, the first day of the trip was a transportation day. Luckily though, Budapest isnt too far away and we took a direct flight which gave us the whole afternoon in the city.

We took the train and subway to the hotel, and the heat was almost unbearable. We had dressed for the Swedish cold autumn morning and we arrived in extreme humidity, blazing sun and of course in the middle of the day.

Once we'd dropped our things of at the hotel, we made our way to the Westend mall where we browsed the stores until the evening when Marre and Rhys arrived. We had a nice dinner at a restuarant and then took a stroll though the roof top garden of the mall, before it was time to head back to the hotel for much needed sleep.